


Vent

by Shamrock_Milk



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: None - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamrock_Milk/pseuds/Shamrock_Milk
Summary: A vent
Relationships: None
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t read this if you’re easily paranoid or can’t take gore

I’m not very good at writing goodbye notes. 

I hate my body. I hate myself.  
People abandon me like a child and a large stick they’d find in their backyard. I’m used for however long until I’m too boring for them. When I think about my life I think of the people that I knew before they ditched me for better, “cooler” companions. 

I close my eyes and see gore, images of cutting and blood and blades. I want to slice every inch of my body. Think of the blood.... dripping down, covering me like frosting covers a cake. 

I have a secret cutting spot on my pelvis. Nobody can see it and it’s just for me. I’ve only cut once on there but it still has a scar— an X. I specifically carved an X to represent that I’ll be dead by the time anyone sees that scar. 

The people I love have other people too. Meanwhile there’s one person I truly think is my soulmate... but they have someone else. I can’t hold it against either of them. Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts that if I just killed the other person I’d have my love to myself. Of course, I’d never do that... the only person I have the guts to kill is myself. 

Anyways, might continue this later if I’m still alive. I honestly hope I’m not. Bye to anyone reading this...


	2. Hh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> None

I guess the true reason of why I’m so possessive is that knowing they have someone else scares me. Because it means I’m disposable. Even though I know in the back of my mind it’s not true... It still hurts. Almost as much as my own self injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None


	3. Goodbye and farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get it? Like greetings and salutations but it’s a suicide note

Firstly I just want to say this isn’t anyone’s particular fault.  
If anyone blame God for damning me in a shitty body in a shitty world.   
I’m constantly in pain from my back and my joints and neck despite going to doctors appointments almost weekly now. I can’t eat without some adverse affect.  
I’m fat and I can’t exercise thanks to adult asthma and years of not being able to exercise.   
Today I cut myself an excessive amount just to see the blood. I like how the shower water turns pink as it runs down the drain.   
I’m just ready to go to whatever’s next after this life   
I’m done bringing others down with me   
I’m done waiting, hoping to be hit by a car whenever I see one drive by.   
I’m just so tired. And I’m ready to go to sleep permanently.

As for my girlfriend Makoto, go ahead and move on with your life. I’m 95% sure I’m the one who sent cops to your house.


End file.
